Letter To The Editor

I am pleased to read Glenn Kauth’s article on Parent Alienation Syndrome.
As a social worker and s. 30 assessor, these are matters I wade into regularly.

One of the challenges for the assessor is discerning if the distance between parent and child is the outcome of “alienation” where the one parent’s intrusive behaviour undermines the relationship of the other parent with the child or alternately, “estrangement,” where the distance between parent and child is the outcome of that parent’s behaviour singularly. 

In other words, I am to blame for the problem in the relationship with my child or the other parent is to blame
As we have learned, the answer can be one, the other, or both. Depending on how this is then assessed, intervention will vary. It may be necessary to hold the alienating parent accountable to facilitate visitation, while at the same time requiring the other parent to attend counselling to address their parenting style.

Further, there are times when distance between a parent and child is neither alienation or estrangement, but rather an alignment or preference. Given particular ages, some children will be reasonably more aligned with the same sex parent, particularly if they share similar interests.

As for adolescent children, their residential motives may be the result of the ever-emerging importance of their social network and therefore which home is closer to these friends.

In the end, claims of Parent Alienation Syndrome do require an educated and unbiased assessment in order to tease out these and other intervening variables. Thereafter, the appropriate course of action can be determined.